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Hello. I'm Terry Turtle. Fart knocker. And I'm an animal with a serious problem. La la la la la la. Welcome to my official website. Read on to find out more about my plight and the plights of other animals with problems. Ass burger. I first realised that I was different from other turtles chirp while living in the factory where I was brought to life. True I looked just the same. Shit cakes. But while they were programmed to say nice things about flowers, fluffy bunnies and crap face babies, a glitch in my system meant that I just couldn't keep the curse words, whistles and chirps from slipping out. |
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FREAKIN FFFFFUUCKING FREAK FACE!!!! Oh, that was a bad one... | |
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As I'm sure you can imagine shit for brains, this was a very difficult thing for a young turtle to go through. But what really hurt was just how funny everyone else seemed to find my little outbursts. Donkey dick. No sooner had a curse word slipped out than all the other turtles and anyone else within earshot would be in absolute hysterics. How humiliating! They never seemed to care how it would make me feel.
See what people don't realise is that I'm actually a very nice guy la la la bite me. I like table tennis and Gloria Estefan and one day I would like to go backpacking around the Far East to explore my spiritual side. Why can't people see beyond my affliction?! Jock strap. Oops, sorry about that. |
Will anyone give me a good home? |
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Happily the guys ANAL PROBE who had briefed the factory to make a turtle toy decided to bring me to life even after they found out about my problem. I am very grateful to them although I have my suspicions that they derive great amusement from my plight. ASS WIPE. Pop. But that was only the start of my BITCH journey. Because since I left the factory I have been trying to find somewhere I fit in. You can follow my ongoing adventures in the Video section of this site. Penis. Butt munch. Fuck-a-doodle-do. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read about me. You seem very nice. I think I spotted you laughing a couple of times, but that's OK, I'm sure you didn't mean it. Pissy pants. |
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It's all been very upsetting, but along the way I have met some other animals with problems and that has helped me feel less lonely. Nipple clamps. Please show your support by visiting the friends section of this site.